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12 Cliches we should kill off

February 16, 2010

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote an internal blog at work about cliches we should kill off.  It generated quite a few responses and suggestions, so I’ve expanded my original list of 6 to 12.  If you have others, feel free to add them in the comments section.

1. “You can’t judge a book by its cover.” – Then why have a cover?

2. “A penny saved is a penny earned.” – First of all, it’s not the same thing.  Second of all, pennies are annoying.  I don’t even pick up change off the ground unless I can use it in a parking meter or a vending machine.  I take or leave pennies just to avoid having them.

3. “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” – Unfair generalization or lame excuse depending on the user.  Some dogs are smarter than others.

4. “Those who can, do.  Those who can’t, teach.” – False either/or proposition.

5. “All things come to those who wait.” – On what planet?

6. “There’s no such thing as bad publicity.”Tiger Woods disagrees.  The original quote ended with “…except for your obituary.”  Somewhere along the line we omitted the part that made sense.

7. “Thinking outside the box.” – I do some of my best thinking in boxes.  It’s quieter, and I can be undisturbed.

8. “Every cloud has a silver lining”/”It’s always darkest just before dawn” – They communicate the same dumb idea, so I’m bundling these. There’s no silver lining in a cloud of cigarette smoke, and it’s darkest whenever I pass out.

9. “There’s no I in Team.” – Congratulations, you can spell.

10. “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.” – Do powers of ten not count anymore?

11. “Everything happens for a reason.” – Foolish and profoundly disturbing.

12. “When God closes a door, he opens a window.” – God needs to respect my utility bills.

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